I still haven't smoked yet, So it's been 1 entire week. If you knew how badly I wanted one.

It's just been a miserable day. I have a 100 degree fever and the dogs have conveniently forgotten how to go outside today (The spoiled pooches do that when it's raining) Ugh.

On top of that my EX-husband wanted to do visit him at the penal farm (which I've told him for months that I am not going to do) and he uses his children to call me to ask me. He does this because he is a user, one of the many reasons her is my EX-husband. But blissfully it is the only time I am happy to be sick to have a valid excuse) I talk to his mother, and she's like oh, you are just getting up? (It was 9am when she called) and I really just wanted to tweak out and go no -- I've been up since 4am, because the damn nyquil didn't do anything for me. And so what of it? Why would I need to get up before 9am? on a Sunday?

I suppose everyone wants to save my soul lately (Mother-in-law is an AME minister) and I am a lapsed catholic (more commonly known as an atheist) so as you might imagine, I'm a little resistant to having anyone save my soul. Although, according to my EX-husband (I'm still paying for this divorce -- that EX is very important to me) he is saved. He's been baptized - He has a certificate he sent me to frame.
So now he basically let's me be as mean as I possibly can to him and then he will ask me to pray with him.

for the final cherry on today's cake, it's that time of the month. Luckily I have an excuse to work from home tomorrow as there is apparently no water in the office -- and it's not supposed to be fixed before noon.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day (It has to be, right?)

I officially stopped on Monday -- it hasn't been so bad so far. Yes I want one, but I haven't gone to go buy any. This is a huge step as I have been smoking regularly for 23 years (since I was 14) In the last year I was up to smoking a pack and 1/2 per day or more. (2008 has been a really bad year in my personal life and it was a busy year at work)

So I am really trying to stop. And I learned that smoking smells very bad. My assistant is a heavy smoker and she smells like an ashtray to me now. So on top of that I am struggling not to be one of the fanatical ex smokers who complain all of the time.

I'm using a combination of Nicoderm gum, sugar free lollipops (1 lb bag from diabeticfriendly.com) and an e-cigarette (from ecigsales.com)

I haven't really used the gum or the e-cigarette often unless I am really craving a real cigarrette. I guess it is the silliness factor that I am standing around 'smoking' an electrical appliance

But I am hoping for the best so hopefully I will have good news the next time I post